Monday, 5 October 2009

Role Reversal...

Life takes over and I completely forget about keeping this up to date. Sometimes it takes over with good and happy events, this time that wasn't the case.

I can't believe I've not even blogged about my first night away from home with my friends, it was a road trip to Huddersfield (I had a fab time, and met some great new people)... all that paled into insignificance when I got back and rightly so.

I was greeted back home by my folks (who had just driven past me and decided to turn round and come back) who said that my brother had had an accident off his bike (Push bike I might add) and that they were off to A&E to see him. My first thought was right I'm coming with you, then I thought I've only had 2 hours sleep and so I wouldn't be much use sitting in A&E with them all and by the sounds of it, its only a scratch on his face... little did I know!

Got back home and watched tv tucked under a fleece feeling sorry for myself (hangover) but I couldn't get to sleep for worrying so rang my folks and said right Im coming now what can I bring, I was politely ordered to bring a towel and some PJ's for my bro.

I turned up at the hospital and couldn't help bursting into tears when I saw him (I'm blaming lack of sleep at this point) half of his face was twice the size it should be, it was covered in roadrash and was turning different colours of purple as we sat there! I composed myself after being reassured by everyone that he was ok (had lost consciousness at the scene for a few mins) and all would be well.

To cut along story short, he stayed in over night to be transferred to a different hospital the next day for a routine operation under General Anestetic to clean the road rash out. I didn't go and see him the next day (thought I would let him get on with it, he's not a very good patient at times) but Mum and Dad went and saw him. Afterall it was a routine operation, one that they do 5 times a day or maybe more! He went down to theatre at 9pm.

We were awoken by a phone call at 12.30 that night, you know when you get a phonecall that late its bad news. There were problems waking him up, fluid in the lungs and he had to be put back to sleep and back on a ventilator!

A million and one thoughts ran through my head.... the worst thoughts ever imaginable... I felt so guilty, I am meant to be the ill one, why isnt it me? Why didn't I go and see him, what if something happens to him, I would never forgive myself!

Im not going to go into details of what happened, he spent 2 nights in intensive care and a couple on the ward and then came home. His face is much better than it was (he looks like he has done 10 rounds with Mike Tyson rather than 15 now) he is feeling tired and I think it will take him a while to get over the shock... in fact I think it will take us all a while...

So Role reversal (the name of the blog)... it's usually me in hospital, I'm the poorly one and THATS THE RULES! Ha Ha! It was horrible being on the other end of it, being a visitor, watching someone you love (I hope he isn't reading this) be so poorly and imagining the worst.

Being at the hospital watching him go through that was bad, I now think of how my folks and him watched me for 3 and half years be attached to a machine, for me it was normal and became routine... for them it must have been awful, I am glad it was me that had to go through it, I don't think I could have coped as well as they have done being on the other side of it all.

It makes you realise how fragile life really is and how things can change in a split second... you never know whats round the corner...

I am so thankful to be so happy and healthy and living life to the full!

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